I met him in a crowded room Where people go to drink away their gloom He sat me down and so began The story of a charmless man Educated the expensive way He knows his claret from his beaujolais I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray But then nature didn't make him that way He went.... Na na na na na na na na naaa (x2) He thinks his educated airs Those family shares Will protect him That we'll respect him He moves in circles of friends Who just pretend That they like him He does the same to them And when you put it all together There's the model of a charmless man Na na na na na na na na naaa (x2) He knows the swingers and their cavalry Says he can get in anywhere for free I began to go a little cross-eyed And from this charmless man I just had to hide Na na na na na na na na naaa (x2) He talks at speed He gets nose bleeds He doesn't see His days are tumbling Down upon him And yet he tries so hard to please He's just so keen For you to listen But no-one's listening And when you put it all together There's the model of a charmless man (Do anything yo do if you can....) He thinks his educated airs Those family shares Will protect him That you'll respect him And yet he tries so hard to please He's just so keen For you to listen But no-one's listening And when you put it all together There's the model of a charmless man Na na na na na na na na naaa (x4)