I wore her down at the pizza pit
and I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5'3" and overweight
I'm a Sci-fi fantatic
mild athsmatic
never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
that you need to see
Go check out Myspace
Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5" and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
and I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
and she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
and fire up the mac
In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
and I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
and I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in
online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5" and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
