Now Or Never

Everything's changing around me and I want to change too It's one thing I know It ain't cool being no fool I feel different today I don't know what else to say But Imma get my shit together It's now or never I'm sick, sick of waiting in vain, tired of playing the game Thinking of making a change, finally breaking the chains Every phase, every happening ?craze? When it's said and done, my head is right back in a haze I'm ready for the next chapter and page to start acting my age and part ways with Black Thought from back in the days I'm stargazing from the back of the stage Crushing in the ??york craze it's worthy of praise Was the phrase "bygones is bygones" Niggas who used to be the underdogs is icons People say the light shines once in a lifetime Is this meant like ?? or price just a little bit like mine I'm thinking not now, but right now I need some kinda sign that the future is bright now I fuck around, do the right thing like Spike now The quick in the day, which one is my lookalike now I'm moving and hey Yo, opportunities lost because I blew them On the sunniest days of my life I cry through them Mom's out the picture and Pops, I barely knew him And I would pray to God but I'm tired of lying to him Tired of trying to run from the things inside of us Got a lot of fam, and a lot of admirers Who tell me that I should aspire to be changed But when I think of changing, it's like why do you try this shit My mind hazy and my thoughts, they get distorted I know my good and bad deeds both get recorded You do right so your soul can last But my role is cast before I even audition for it So I don't really see an end to my vice It's just false reformation, no end of my strife Feel the evil overpowering, you can go ahead throw the towel in 'Cause nigga, that's the end of the fight When you can only see the tunnel at the end of the light Like South party, oh that's the end of your life and a mountain When I look into the mirror, and see my own image I feel like there's something else far in the distance Something I wanna see, but something that's resistant And everyday the heartin' is growing more persistent I never noticed it before, but now I can't miss it And the constant pounding is driving me ballistic I ran from it few years, but it's still next to me And it's growing stronger, taking even less of me I can't fight it now, I know it's just destiny And I just wonder what's gonna happen when it catches me Will it leave me face down, and a ?? Or will it just start bringing out the best in me But is the best in me really just the worst in me And if so, yesterday could be my anniversary And sinners court, is it important to have church with me I'm trying to get rid of these ghosts that's cursing me I feeling change is an absolute certainty 'Cause what's coming on is a state of emergency