Funny Girl - Broadway - I'm The Greatest Star

Fanny waits for Eddie to come out of the theatre and tries to explain that she doesn't fit into the chorus because she's got star potential. Listen, I've got thirty-six expressions-- Sweet as pie to tough as leather, And that's six expressions more Than all them Barrymores put together. Instead of just kicking me Why don't they give me a lift? It must be a plot, 'Cause they're scared that I got Such a gift--well, I'm miffed--'cause I'm the greatest star-- I am by far, but no one knows it! Wait, they're gonna hear a voice, A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah-- They'll cheer each toot (Yay! She's terrific!) When I expose it! Now, can't you see to look at me That I'm a nach'ral Camille? As Camille I just feel I've so much to offer. Kid, I know I'd be divine because I'm a nach'ral cougher. (coughs) Some ain't got it--not a lump, I'm a great big clump of talent! Laugh! They'll bend in half. (Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?) A thousand jokes: Stick around for the jokes, A thousand faces. I reiterate, When you're gifted, Then you're gifted, These are facts--I got no axe to grind. Hey, what are they--blind? In all of the world so far I'm the greatest star! Who is the pip with piz-azz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamorous as? Who's an American Beauty rose With an American Beauty nose, And ten American Beaty toes, Eyes on the target, and wham-- One shot, one gun shot and bam! Hey, Mr. Ziegfeld, here I am! I'm the greatest star, I am by far, But no one knows it! That's why I was born-- I'll blow my horn Till someone blows it! I'll light up like a light Right up like a light I'll flicker, then flare up All the world's gonna stare up Lookin' down You'll never see me-- Try the sky, 'Cause that'll be me. I can make 'em cry, I can make 'em sigh, Someday they'll clamor For my dram-er. Have you guessed yet, Who's the best yet? If you ain't I'll tell you one more time. You bet your last dime In all of the world so far I'm the greatest, greatest star!