Fanny waits for Eddie to come out of the theatre and
Tries to explain that she doesn't fit into the chorus
Because she's got star potential.
Listen
I've got thirty-six expressions--
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that's six expressions more
Than all them Barrymores put together.
Instead of just kicking me
Why don't they give me a lift?
It must be a plot
'Cause they're scared that I got
Such a gift--well I'm miffed--'cause
I'm the greatest star--
I am by far but no one knows it!
Wait they're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute--ah hah ah hah--
They'll cheer each toot
(Yay! She's terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now can't you see to look at me
That I'm a nach'ral Camille?
As Camille I just feel
I've so much to offer.
Kid I know I'd be divine because
I'm a nach'ral cougher.
Some ain't got it--not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent!
Laugh!
They'll bend in half.
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes:
Stick around for the jokes
A thousand faces.
I reiterate
When you're gifted
Then you're gifted
These are facts--I got no axe to grind.
Hey what are they--blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star!
Who is the pip with piz-azz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who's an American Beauty rose
With an American Beauty nose
And ten American Beaty toes
Eyes on the target and wham--
One shot one gun shot and bam!
Hey Mr. Ziegfeld here I am!
I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it!
That's why I was born--
I'll blow my horn
Till someone blows it!
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker then flare up
All the world's gonna stare up
Lookin' down
You'll never see me--
Try the sky
'Cause that'll be me.
I can make 'em cry
I can make 'em sigh
Someday they'll clamor
For my dram-er.
Have you guessed yet
Who's the best yet?
If you ain't I'll tell you one more time.
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest greatest star
