A Fine Romance

A fine romance with no kisses A fine romance, my friend, this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes A fine romance, you won't nestle A fine romance, you won't wrestle I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunt I haven't got a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance, my good fellow You take romance, I'll take jello You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean At least they flap their fins to express emotion A fine romance with no quarrels With no insults and all morals I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants I never get the chance This is a fine romance A fine romance with no kisses A fine romance, my friend, this is We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder But we just fizz like parts of a Seidlitz powder A fine romance, with no glitches A fine romance, with no bitches You're just as hard to land as the 'Isle de France' I haven't got a chance This is a fine romance