Nan You're A Window Shopper

The bottom feels so much better than the top! So much better! Nan you're a window shopper Taking a look but you never buy Nan you're a window shopper You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver Nan you're a window shopper Get on the bus 'cause you still can't drive Nan you're a window shopper Mad as fuck, only just alive You get up in the morning and you like your tea milky You fumble for your glasses 'cause without 'em you can't see It's funny how I come around your house and I'm twenty And I still have to wear all the presents you sent me I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label You've done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April And you won't leave your house unless you're wearing your thermals You're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils You're headed down the bowls club, have another orange squash Balls are rollin', rollin', rollin' You can't walk right 'cause things aren't what they were Your ankles are swollen, swollen, swollen Nan you're a window shopper Taking a look but you never buy Nan you're a window shopper You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver Nan you're a window shopper Get on the bus 'cause you still can't drive Nan you're a window shopper Mad as fuck, only just alive Walking down the post office to pick up your pension And then you're off to bingo, it's become an obsession So wary of the kids when they're wearing their hoods up And even if they smile at you you think it's a stick up You only buy the paper just to cut out the coupons You're saving 50p but what do you want with tampons You're always at the doctor picking up you prescription And they throw in some KY just to ease up the friction You've got a leak in your colostomy bag Yeah, it's got a hole in, hole in, hole in On the weekend you're shopping with your trolley It's sad how you're rollin', rollin', rollin' Nan you're a window shopper Taking a look but you never buy Nan you're a window shopper You won't pick it up if it's over a fiver Nan you're a window shopper Get on the bus 'cause you still can't drive Nan you're a window shopper Mad as fuck, only just alive