Carry Me Home

The bartender's working on a late night shift Cheap blondes and bums and barmaids on a midnight drift And the dance band's playing the same old slam I'm sinking whiskey and you're sipping fine wine I don't know what it is you're trying to prove Well it should be you but it's me who can hardly move And I've got my reputation lying on the line Come on baby, be a good dog and help the blind Oh, won't you carry me home Won't you carry me home Won't you carry me home Like a truck, pick me up You ain't no lady but you've sure got taste in men That head of yours has got you by time and time again My arms and legs are aching and my head's about to blow And your back's been breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the show But I've just spent next weeks wages and I'm right out of coin But you want more and it's half past four and they want to close the joint But we can't afford a taxi and it's too late for the bus But I've been told by friends of mine you're someone I can trust Carry me home Oh, won't you carry me home Won't you carry me home Don't let me lie here in all this beer You drank all your booze and half of mine I'm bleary eyed and you're waiting for the sunshine to come and kill me Just like the man who threw me on the floor Don't matter, while I'm down here I might as well try and find the fucking door Excuse me, have you seen it? It's about this big And have you got a plastic bag 'cause I'm gonna be sick I'm dead drunk and heave'n, hanging upside down And you're getting up and leaving, you think I'm gonna drown Carry me home Oh, won't you carry me home Carry me home Carry me home Oh, won't you carry me home Oh, carry me home Ah, ha ha ha ha