Growing Pains III

Outside I can hear 'em bussin', bussin' And the police they rushin' Go to my head like concussion I'd rather not have this discussion My mind racing for the elevation of the toxic in my blood Where my mind, don't know now But I know where it was I need Nikki, where is Nikki Baby girl please come and get me Now I'm old and shit is trippy, but I know that god is with me This that baby mama drama Give a fuck about a man I know Imma Be there for my son, talking with my sister it begun End of the month, that's the worst of the month But the first of the month put the weed in the blunt That welfare check, check, won't ever bounce like my daddy did But I'm glad he did cause it made me strong Made me help somebody with this song Paint the picture of my life Growing up what it was like Section 8, grab a plate Food for thought, gravitate Food stamps, social services tryna take me away My mama locked up, I pray to god that I see her today Maybe not, maybe so, West Deer Park that's all I know Just me and my homies, people that know me Only ones that know Around my way, living day by day Corn rows and hang time, automatics and gang signs Five-O with them K-9's Manhunt when it's game time They was robbing the ice cream man in broad day Now I'm running from the police, don't know how but I got away Selling weed to my homies, and a girl in the building that know me At 15, such a fiend, for the shit, that I seen All my homies smoking green, fucking bitches, sipping lean It was king, it was cool, seemed like something I should do Such a youngin, such a fool Now I'm breaking into school Cause my homie told me to What to do, what would you When will I lose my anonymity and become one with the enemy? Tell me would I be the enemy, feel like nobody in front of me I can feel the vibe Bobby what are you thinking? What are you dreaming about? Bobby, what's inside? What are you thinking right now? What are you thinking? Go to sleep I guess that I was just thinking things would be different now Cause when I wake up my dreams fade Everything cascade In this vanilla sky, I feel like David Aames Why must I open my eyes I wish that I could stay asleep forever Attain every goal I wanted and watch it repeat forever Will it happen, maybe never Maybe so, I got to know But tell me why I picture myself at the top but I know that I'm dreaming Will I wake up before I finally confront all my demons Maybe not All I know is this life I live I can't live it no longer Wish I was stronger, wish that I could survive Turn on the TV let it wash my brain Pretend that family's my family to avoid the pain Hello children, how was school? It was good, how bout you? I love you (I love you son) I love mama too Are you ready for dinner? I'm able to set the table Till I snap out the fable when that TV turn off and I realize I'm back in hell