When my friends and I stick together, there is nothing we can't do And when I say that, I specifically mean, we're gonna stage a coup With the power of our gossip giggles, we'll storm the Pentagon Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas on the White House lawn We're gonna braid each other's hair, then cut each other's braids Connect the braids to build a rope To hang all of Congress Squad Goals: Stay together forever Squad Goals: Take control of the banks Squad Goals: Don't let a man come between us If he does, shoot him in the head Ohhhhhhhh Friendtopia, a dystopia around our friendship Friendtopia, our manifesto is fun, zig-a-zow Now that we have total control, get ready for what's in store Our reign will be like Sweet Valley High meets 1984 When one of us gets dumped, that becomes memorial day All agriculture will be diverted into making us rosé There's a really exclusive sushi place that never lets us in So when we don't get in we say, "Let's just go home, and drink rosé" Roll call: Rebecca, the brainy one, head of censorship and mind control Heather, the cool one, I put drugs in the water supply Valencia, the sexy one, czar of torture Ohhhhhhhh Friendtopia, we nostalgically watch Hocus Pocus Friendtopia, aw, I love Hocus Pocus Friendtopia, all citizens must watch Hocus Pocus Friendtopia, or they will be killed Zig-a-Zow!