When my friends and I stick together, there is nothing we can't do
And when I say that, I specifically mean, we're gonna stage a coup
With the power of our gossip giggles, we'll storm the Pentagon
Then celebrate with bottomless mimosas on the White House lawn
We're gonna braid each other's hair, then cut each other's braids
Connect the braids to build a rope
To hang all of Congress
Squad Goals: Stay together forever
Squad Goals: Take control of the banks
Squad Goals: Don't let a man come between us
If he does, shoot him in the head
Ohhhhhhhh
Friendtopia, a dystopia around our friendship
Friendtopia, our manifesto is fun, zig-a-zow
Now that we have total control, get ready for what's in store
Our reign will be like Sweet Valley High meets 1984
When one of us gets dumped, that becomes memorial day
All agriculture will be diverted into making us rosé
There's a really exclusive sushi place that never lets us in
So when we don't get in we say, "Let's just go home, and drink rosé"
Roll call:
Rebecca, the brainy one, head of censorship and mind control
Heather, the cool one, I put drugs in the water supply
Valencia, the sexy one, czar of torture
Ohhhhhhhh
Friendtopia, we nostalgically watch Hocus Pocus
Friendtopia, aw, I love Hocus Pocus
Friendtopia, all citizens must watch Hocus Pocus
Friendtopia, or they will be killed
Zig-a-Zow!
