Understand

Girl, I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't, wanted to be your man back then And you knew I fell for you but you Just broke my heart in two I was sad, mad and broken on my bed Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med When I was met with a prescription of a bullet made of lead And when I woke up in an hour in a pool of my own sweat I said, "I swear to God I'll never even try to sleep again" So instead I took my pen and started writing evidencе And when I started making sensе I found that I had reached the end Oh, I'm upset, I have no friends You wanna bet you're just pretend? You're just a pet confined within the lines of writing You're not shit I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways, I swear I did I said I talked to people 'bout the problematic life I lived They were my neighbors, razor blades And different flavored pills I hate Therefore I'm not sure, leave my last straw I'm so glad, stuck in the past, I said that Girl, I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't, wanted to be your man back then And so far I never held you with my arms So it's hard to be the one you aren't With instead filled with anxiety Always was a part of me, guess I'm not cut out to be Somebody 'cause it's not me I'm not used to all the talk, it was an introvert That had converted feelings in the writing Used to cope with all my problems Using notes and lots of rhyming Used to hope for better days whenever That's 'bout make me crying I'm not lying when I say that I would rather daily go back To the times I would try be the guy the people know I was fighting with the demons hiding far beyond my eyelids On an island full of violence in my head that I could pilot Oh, the sun don't shine, the skies turn gray I felt it coursing through my veins I said before I'm not okay But you don't listen anyway You know I tried, you turned away Straight out loud right to my face You fucked my life, ruined my day But you don't know, so I'll say Nothing can fill this silence, no one can love like I did Nobody cares, you lied, it's no fair, you still deny it Nothing can fill this silence, no one can love like I did Nobody cares, you lied, it's no fair, you still deny it Girl, I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't, wanted to be your man back then And too bad I know I can't wake up Because I lost my weight and you don't give a fuck About me, this could be a dream, I can't see The things that you see, so please, oh Girl, I hope you understand I wanted to hold your hand But I can't, wanted to be your man back then And you know I'll play along you You were my home, I wrote you songs And now you're dead to me effectively Removed yourself outside my dream