Mean mister mustard sleeps in the park Shaves in the dark trying to save paper Sleeps in a hole in the road Saving up to buy some clothes Keeps a ten bob note up his nose Such a mean old man Such a mean old man His sister Shelly works in a shop She never stops she's a go getter Takes him out to look at the queen Only place that he's ever been Always shouts out something obscene Such a dirty old man Such a dirty old man Mean mister mustard Such a dirty dirty Mean mister mustard Such a dirty dirty Mean mister mustard Mean mister mustard sleeps in the park Shaves in the dark trying to save paper Sleeps in a hole in the road Saving up to buy some clothes Keeps a ten bob note up his nose Such a mean old man Such a mean old man