Get You Mad

Yo, mic-check (My dick) Testing, one, two, fuck (My dick) My nuts My attitude is worse than N.W.A's was I'll battle you over stupid shit And diss people who ain't have shit to do with it Like Cool J does (My tattoo) You see me standin' outside of your buildin' Screamin', "Puffy is good, but Slim Shady is for the children" I look at my life in a new light Fuck it, give me two mics I write songs for me, fuck what you like You probably hear me rap half-hearted 'Cause I don't like rap anyway I'm just tryna get my porno career started (Oh, hell yeah) Every place and event, been there, done that Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went Want a deal? Study these five chapters Lesson 1, throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers Lesson 2, face 'em and diss 'em (What up, dawg?) Don't give 'em a demo, kidnap 'em (Come on, you're comin' with me, motherfucker, check this out) And make 'em come to your basement and listen Lesson 3, get a job at a label Switch demos with Canibus and put yours on the owner's table (Here, listen) Lesson 4, know you heard this before "Hey, let me get your number, I'll call you tomorrow for sure" Don't act like a fan, you wanna get signed Get the whitest A&R you can find Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can (Hey dude, come here) Lesson 5, get a hook-up at Jive Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live And that's the key, but when you see me on the street I ain't givin' you shit, bitch, don't even bother askin' me Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin' 'Cause I'm always shittin' when I'm rappin', like Master P (Ungh) Got a blowjob from Paula Jones and stuffed it so far in her mouth My balls broke both of her collarbones Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah Gave Alyssa Milano syphilis, mono and gonorrhea And all three of my main girls said, "See ya" 'Cause Brandy and Monica walked in And caught me fuckin' Aaliyah I splish-splash while I'm takin' a bath Grab a handful of pills, break 'em in half, take 'em and laugh White trash, fuckin' your wife in the ass While you're out siphonin' gas For your lawn mower to cut the grass So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad (Yo, why you diss me?) You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had (A big dick) You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad (Nurse, nurse) You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad What a wonderful day, I should go outside and play Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate Hi, Renée (Oh, hi) I was just about to toss a live grenade In your driveway and drive away (What?) Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS? Blood drippin' from it Rippin' your stomach like a paper mâché You talk a lot of shit, but you was never ill, though I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh Jumped up, choked a giraffe Snapped his neck and broke it in half Wagin' wars, went on stage And sprayed Cage with Agent Orange And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here) The demon is here, I'm steamin' this year I rip ********* voice box out and scream in his ear It's not a gimmick, bitch, it's an image, I live it Give a fuck? I don't know what a fuck is to give it "Yeah, I don't think this guy is well" I'm high as hell, I'll beat you with a live cat When I'm swingin' him by his tail I'll fuckin', I'll fuckin', lay your nuts on the dresser Just your nutsack by itself And bang them shits with a spiked bat Cut your neck off, then sew your head right back And leave you like that You just triggered a prick who just mixed liquor Who's itchin' to leave you disfigured And stiffer than Christopher Reeves I was dealing with strep throat While your mother was breastfeeding And gave her the flesh-eating disease I'm iller than takin' a hammer and beating your knees And walkin' through South Central L.A., bleeding in jeans (Am I a Blood or a Crip?) Wakin' up the next day in breathing machines Flashin' back to bein' shot and repeating the scenes On how you just got smoked, and if you do live You'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and Pac joke So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (Uh-huh) That's right, Slim Shady (Yup) Sway and Tech, sprayin' wreck (Bitch) And we don't give a heck (Uh-uh) Or a damn or a fuck or a shit So suck my mothafuckin' dick The Wake Up Show, let me tell you what it mean to me It mean hard beats, hard rhymes, B-boys Hip-hop, baby, all the way, forever