When I'm five
I will wash my face me hands all by myself
When I'm five
I will chew and spit tabacco like my grandfather Jones
'Cause I'm only four and five is far away
When I'm five
I will read the magazines in mummy's drawer
When I'm five
I will walk behind the soldiers in the may day parade
'Cause I'm only four and grown-ups walk too fast
Yesterday was horrid day
'Cause raymond kicked my shin
And mummy says if I am good
She'll let me go to school in August
Daddy shouted loud at mummy and I dropped my toast at breakfast
And I laughed when bonzo licked my face, because it tickled
I wonder why my daddy cries and how I wish that I was nearly five
When I'm five
I will catch a fly and eat it and I won't be sick
When I'm five
I will walk in puddles, laugh in church and marry my mum
And I'll let my daddy do the washing-up
If I close one eye, the people on that side can't see me
I get headaches in the morning and I rode on freddie's tricycle
And everywhere was funny, when I ran down to the sweetshop
Then I fell and bleeded-up my knee and everybody soppied me
I saw a photograph of jesus and I asked him if he'd make me five
When I'm five
When I'm five
