李包比自傳 feat. 簡道生

我是美麗本人本名叫做李包比 This is Dr. Beauty a.k.a. Bobi Lee 今年三十一 但外表特老氣 31 years old, but looking older than I look 身高一七三 體重有九十一 173cm and weight 91kg 駕照我有小型車我還是老司機 Not only have my driver license but also an O. G. 克林頓最愛找李文斯基 吃雞 肉 Clinton loves eating chicken with Levinsky 這個部分講起來好刺 激唷 This part of the story sounds so excited 我是傳播系 大學在慈濟 I was studying Mass communication at Tzu Chi University 上來電視宣傳佛法是好時機 喔 Now is the right time to preach Buddhism on TV Laagigi ‘s coming bro Laagigi ‘s coming bro 大屁屁發情瞜 Big ass going into heat now 我賤價拍賣一百塊我立刻當你婆 I can cut the price for you . You only need a hunnid for me to be your escort 再多加一百就能輕輕下腰幫你摩 Pay an extra hunnid bill you’ll receive a lower body part grinding style massage 今天第一次嗎？ 小弟弟放輕鬆 First time here? Just relax boy. 我功能特多還會拍片剪輯 I got whole lotta skill set and also know how to shoot and edit video footage 價格實在 人又耐操還比外面便宜 The real bargain right here, hard -working and cheaper than others. Adobe Photoshop 還會些 illustrator Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator too Indesign sketchup powerpoint 我全都會了沒在騙的 Indesign, SketchUp and PowerPoint. I know it all. Not gon’ lie. 拜託賞個機 會 Please just spare a chance 我屁股翹 顏值高 I got the ass and the look 又有誰能匹配 Ain’t nobody can match this 我知道讓我進棚會有太多人會心 碎 I know most of y’all gon’ be mad if win this audition 說我饒舌技巧只是網紅裡的低 配 Saying I’m just an instagram model with the worst rapping skill 抱歉我不是網紅公司叫我藝人 Sorry I’m not an model, they’ve called me artist 我美貌就連網美都說實在太過逼人 I’m drop dead gorgeous even a hottest model thinks this beauty is beyond imagination 太不平等 It’s just not fair 他禿頭還能進這? How come he got in with with no hair? 先天條件不平等 是該要如何競爭 We’re born different and how are y’all gon’ compete with this? 現在沒beats 叻 Now that the beat is gone 有點 尷尬 and it’s little awkward now 是個男人就該有擔當 But gotta do what you gonna do and act like a real man 十個禿頭有九個潘納 9 out of 10 bald-headed person are rich 我 是第十個哇胸散甲（我最貧窮） and I’m that poorest one out of that ten 順便介紹一下我的家庭背 景 Imma tell you a little bit about myself 我爸媽知道我來參加他們都很灰 心 My parents are disappointed ever since I attended this show 我老婆知道後 她說我一定被講內 定 If my wife knows, she prolly will say shit like “People will thinks you have some connection” 我老妹不在這 man他嫁去荷蘭飛 行 My sister’s not here, she got married and moved to Holland to stay high up. 我女兒 只會說爸爸 開車小心 My daughter only know how to say “Drive safe daddy” 阿爸阿母別擔心這場我會贏 Don’t worry bout me mom and pops, Imma win this round 我會使盡全力唱的繪聲繪影 Imma spit hard and rhyme to the fullest 再次自我介紹各位老闆我叫美麗 Once again everybody, My name is Dr. Beauty