愛，不到

愛情若是權力的寓言，時間究竟是枷鎖還是逃逸的路線？ 任何時代討論愛情，都不早不晚。而用愛情的任何姿態演示權力的關係，都不多不少。愛情是權力的場域，性別的、階級的、種族的、年齡的…… 並非因為愛絕對是一種控制，或是獨佔，而是，當我們竟然相信，愛是宇宙的和諧，是一切的解答，那麼，愛的神聖性註定其便是力量的戰場。 我們在慾望的爭奪中前進、後退，具現了一切矛盾：滿足與失落、剝削與奉獻、擁有與失去，誤以為平衡可以永恆，殊不知一生都要戰戰兢兢去維繫。 而權力能施于人的最陰冷的暴力，就是時間。 你會知道，那就是等待。世界上最難熬的等待，就是愛情。無法滿足的慾望，未能得到的回應，始終不能履行的承諾，把時間切成不連續的碎片，你在等待裡自問自答，望著個空白的碎片裡尋找對方的身影，卻只能照見自己的焦灼與空虛。 急促卻悠長，緩慢卻短暫，日復一日，明日很快變成昨日，你要的此時此刻，永遠不會到來。在等待愛情的回望時，你透過他人眼中成為他者，而渴望卻不可得，亦讓你成為自己的他者。 這就是拖磨，或是說，權力施予的，時間的重量。 我們這樣脆弱的身軀與柔軟的心，無法承受那麼堅硬的直視，巴奈遂以眼淚綴飾的詞、嘆息串成的調來鋪敘，並以赤裸直揭人際關係裡慾望與控制往復探索的探戈曲調牽引，再以電子音效的刮搔作為應答，來展演愛情即是權力，而在讓渡權力裡的人，情感的躊躇、心靈的自我懷疑。 經過20年時光的歷練，2000年發行《泥娃娃》的巴奈，曾經她用沉重的聲音直接叩問時代加諸於她的謊言與自身的命運，而這張她收錄過去鮮少演出的全創作作品《愛，不到》專輯，卻是把自己青春私密的愛情心事全然交付給由金曲、金音獎音樂人蕭賀碩、李承宗（Circo Ensemble）、鄭各均（音速死馬、三牲獻藝）組成的製作團隊，透過音樂的對話交互辯證。以探戈作為類型的詮釋，用班多紐手風琴去述說她人生的飄盪，巴奈生命裡愛的進退或許是她現實境況的比喻，也可能僅僅是強悍背後的軟弱，女人的小小心事。但述說便是一種行動，敢於讓自己被詮釋，則是另一種自由與反抗。 《愛，不到》，或許是得不到，亦或是在路上，仍是一句懸問，也是一份堅持。堅持看清自己的所有傷痕，問世間情為何物，先問自己真心是否坦蕩如初。One of Taiwan's best-known and most beloved indigenous singers, Panai spoke to a generation of disaffected youth in the early 2000s with her debut album Ni-Wa-Wa, which was hailed widely for its beautifully melancholy and frank appraisal of her generation's life and times. Now, twenty years later, Panai has released Love, and yet... -- an unusual but timely work, given her path from emerging folk star to outspoken activist for indigenous rights. With this album, Panai narrates our struggles with love, power, and time. She dug into her past catalog of songs written several decades ago (near the time of Ni-Wa-Wa), unearthing some rarely-heard, rarely-performed compositions. The songs are raw, deeply personal stories about the joys and heartaches of a past youth -- but the album is decidedly not a nostalgic revisitation. Panai approached these once-lost songs from a fresh angle, with the help of a trio of award-winning Taiwanese musicians. Songwriter and producer Shuo Hsiao oversaw the project in collaboration with co-producers Lee Chung-tsung (Circo Ensemble), and Chang Ko-chun (Sonic Deadhorse).The album's sound mixes the traditional and modern. Lee and Chang spearheaded the song arrangements, with Lee leading and directing a tango ensemble, and Chang providing electronic music instrumentation. Together they set the perfect stage for Panai to explore the ebb and flow of power, desire, and control in romantic relationships. Fans might be taken aback by Panai singing about such topics today, given that her energies in recent years have been invested in an ongoing campaign for land rights for indigenous people in Taiwan. But this very act of sharing such personal stories should be seen as an act of freedom and resistance in itself. Panai has naturally drawn from her recent experiences with a sit-in movement that has continued for three years and counting, infusing these recordings with a fresh perspective and wisdom on love, power, and time. Love, and yet...is full of Panai's signature tenacity, and it is a display of a different kind of courage. It's a courage to look back at one's past scars; it's a courage to continue on a quest for love, no matter the rewards or consequences. One might take the stage to sing stories of heartbreak and trouble -- or one might take the stage to fight unjustified power. Either way, with these new recordings, Panai reminds us of what to always do first: ask whether our own hearts are truly open.ABOUT PANAI One of the most distinctive voices in Taiwanese folk music, Panai Kusui came to prominence in the early 2000s with her debut album Ni-Wa-Wa, which appealed not only to fans who shared her indigenous roots, but Chinese-speaking audiences across the island. Of Puyuma and Amis descent, Panai sings both in the languages of her ancestry and Mandarin Chinese, commenting on the struggles of indigenous youth and issues impacting Taiwanese society as a whole. Not only is Panai beloved for her penetrating and passionate music, she is widely admired and respected for her tireless efforts as a social activist. In 2017, she embarked on a high-profile campaign calling on the current government to return Taiwanese ancestral lands to its indigenous people, and to grant meaningful political autonomy to their communities. Panai's sit-in protest near Taiwan's presidential office continues to this day, and continues to attract visits from everyone from top government officials trying to argue their side to friends and passersby showing their support for the movement. But even while on the front line, Panai's musical knowledge and talents continued to be highly sought after. Once, during a tour stop in Taiwan, the British soul singer Joss Stone visited Panai at the protest site to learn a traditional indigenous song. Panai's latest album Love, and yet…(2020), a collection of rarely-performed ballads written at the start of her career, is delivered with the fire of a seasoned activist, and the wisdom of a well-traveled troubadour.