Well, Ali Baba had them 40 thieves Scheherazade had a thousand tales But master, you're in luck, 'cause up your sleeves You've got a brand of magic never fails You've got some power in your corner now Some heavy ammunition in your camp You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo & how All you gotta do is rub that lamp, & I'll say "Mr. Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, jot it down?" You ain't never had friend like me No, no, no Life is your restaurant, & I'm your maitre'D Come on whisper what it is you want You ain't never had friend like me Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service You're the boss, the king, the shah Say what you wish; it's yours, true dish How 'bout a little more baklava? Hey, Have some of column A Try all of column B I'm in the mood to help you, dude You ain't never had friend like me Can your friends do this? Can your friends do that? Can your friends pull this Out their little hat Can your friends go poof? (Yeah, yeah) So don't just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers You've got me bona fide & certified You've got a genie for charge d'affaires I've got a powerful urge to help you out So what you wish, I really wanna know? You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt Well all you've gotta do is rub like so Mr. Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three I'm on the job you big nabob You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never (never) had (had) a friend like me You ain't never had a friend like me